When I was in college I went out with a guy once or twice. I think his name was Bill, but I don't even really remember. We went to a restaurant or something and actually had a really fun time. I felt comfortable around him and we laughed and talked a lot. And then he wouldn't leave me alone and he got all mushy and romantic really fast and not being experienced in love and not knowing that I should just talk to him about it, I started avoiding him. If I saw him coming down the sidewalk, I'd suddenly need to go in a building along the way. If he was at a table in the dining room with empty chairs, I would make sure I sat on the other side of the room. It wasn't very nice of me, I know, (especially since he hadn't done anything bad) but one thing I learned was that I don't care for mushy, gushy and don't rush me! Even writing a blog like this takes me outside my comfort zone because it's too mushy. ;)
So when John walked into my life, we discovered that neither of us is overly romantic and we're comfortable with that. We spent a LOT of time in groups, playing games, going on picnics or hikes, and talking to each other. We observed each other in ministry, at church, and in groups. And all of that before we really started talking romance.
But I think how he really won my heart is because of two specific incidents where he spoke my love language. I was teaching school in Nigeria and we only had the very basic supplies for decorating bulletin boards and so on. If we wanted graphics for our boards, we had to make them ourselves. This consisted of putting a picture on an overhead projector, shining the image onto a piece of poster board, drawing the image on the poster board, and then painting it how you wanted. So I was in my classroom one evening, working on a new bulletin board. I was painting the bears in jogging suits that you see on the bulletin board here.
It was taking a VERY long time and I was tired. John came wandering in and just sat down and started helping me paint. We talked and worked and got the job done in half the amount of time. The other time was when I had to make a large amount of cookies for something and it just seemed like a tedious job. But he came over and helped make those cookies and it was so much more fun doing it with somebody!
Even now, the most romantic thing he can do is to, without me asking, come in the kitchen and help make supper, take down the laundry for me, or tidy something up.
Have you guessed that my love language is acts of service!? When John did something for me, I started noticing that this was a pretty good guy. He was handsome, funny, devoted to Jesus, and a man of integrity ... but he also spoke to me through acts of service.
I like to get gifts, especially chocolate, but gifts don't mean that much to me. I definitely enjoy quality time, though just being in the same room is quality time for me ... we don't have to be doing anything together. Physical touch is down pretty low on the list. And I don't do words of affirmation very well at all. Guess what John's love language is? Words of affirmation! So I'm not sure how he ever fell for me! But I'm sure glad he did.